by Fruitbat » Mon Jun 02, 2014 10:21 pm
This seems as good a place as any to address this:
"Can you explain why fruitbat was so abusive to me...remember pedantic bastard?"
Hard as It may be for anyone who doesn't know me to accept, but I was using that poor choice of words to convey a grudging respect at the time, and definitely not as a term of abuse.
To be completely honest, I used to think you were a bit too good at the keyboard warrior skills, particularly the technical/psychlogical aspects of "winding someone up", and I initially was quite able to see you as someone who is unnecesarily harsh and who I would want to avoid. As I learn more however, I am getting a real sense that you've been pushed into a corner, a few years back and that what initially seemed to be an innate "bad attitude" may have been similar to when I was at my most most evil as a young man, a reaction to external pressures.
Over the last year I certainly have seen you making some efforts to build bridges, and generally trying to conduct yourself in a visibly "nicer" manner. I'll caution you that it's taken me decades of trying not to be "evil" towards my fellow men to reap any sort of visible reward. And still most of the time, most people see my ways as being weak and they take as much advantage as I let them. Trying to be "good" is like being a real artist. You do it for the sake of the task itself not for the reward. If you are lucky it pays off, most times just like being an artist it doesn't...
I would really love to be able to help you and Linda bury the hatchet and move forwards, but of course, as I have proven with our kevin, I'm not much better at resolving conflicts. OF COURSE, it's all HIS fault, (from my perspective) but that doesn't matter, as we all know, it takes two to tango, and apparently two to act like total arses.
I think that linda's idea of an external manipulatiive force, is just an extension of the basic idea of a devil who tempts us to do hasty and ill considered things. Where this could be useful to all of us, is that it gives us a tool that helps us to step outside of ourselves, psychologically speaking and examine our actions more dispassionately. (And that is of big utility as I am sure you'll agree) I am often heard speaking of my personal "demon" who every so often gets the job of making bloody sure that nothing I do will work. I found that I was having too many days when I was getting angry and frustrated because everything "seems to be against me". Conventional thinking is of little utility on such days when you just seem to catch all the crap through no fault of your own, and seemingly the harder you try to prevail the more thwarted you get.
Now as we all know there is huge energy available in "anger" (I have a mate who is still trying to work out how I managed to single handedly reposition his metal working lathe last month, the truth is it pissed me off being where it was so I shoved it out of the effing way!) but, that energy comes at a price, and as one of my friends found out a few years back, that price can be your spouse... It's good therefore to have some other tools in addition to rage to use to deal with life's vicissitudes, and I've found that externalising the problem is a useful tool.
By applying the blame for my crappy day to my personal (and of course, quite imaginary) demon (he stands behind a large panel full of levers, and says stuff like, "oh no you don't!" or "you can't have that.." as he pulls on the levers that thwart whatever it is I am trying to do). I assume that he does it for the demonic pleasure of it and also to "try and wind me up", but (and here's the clever bit) by acting as if he was real, and (obviously) modifying my activities to minimise the extent of his victories I find nowadays I can often turn a really shitty day into quite a good one. And if he is truly on form and seemingly unbeatable, then fair enough I give myself an easy day, that day. Of course, as we all know, demons are limited in their powers, and vastly outnumbered by us, so soon enough the little bastard will go and mess with someone else, and I can then get on with whatever I was trying to get done.
I'd imagine if we externalise the overwhelming urge that we seem to get to hand out some whup-ass to the other idiots, and attribute it to a malevolent external force as Linda suggests, we might possibly be able to find some utility in that way of thinking. As I have found in the example above.
Do you mind if I suggest that it seems truly mad that those of us on these forums who often have quite clearer vision than the "mainstream thinking" people spend so much time at each others throats? Is it any wonder that quite a lot of people across several forums have all made similar suggestions to Linda, that there is an external force that uses our psychologies against us to fragment our efforts. It is my belief that just as I have found with my "demon", we could use the idea to perhaps help us to evolve past the perpetual infighting that seems to dog our efforts to get ahead?
Fruitbat.
(Just let me don this fire proof suit before I hit submit...)
Empty Vessels (and reverse biased semiconductors) make the most noise.